Didn’t do Homework Last Night? Guide to Getting Through Class

1.) Keep a notebook on your desk, and a writing utensil in your hand. This way, the teacher will assume that your homework is out and you are waiting to make studious corrections. If you don’t have a writing utensil, prop the notebook against your desk from your lap, and pretend to have a writing utensil.

2.) Make imaginary corrections. If you are just staring at your paper, then the teacher might begin to get suspicious, and call you out. Don’t allow this to happen, scribble a little bit every three to four questions to make it appear as you made a minor error, but it is currently being tended to, and there is nothing to worry about. If you have a pencil, you can also erase an imaginary literary faux pas every once in a while.

3.) Nod your head. Every time the teacher looks at your and is talking, nod your head to let the teacher know “I heard what you said and I understand it, as indicated by my nodding head.” The teacher will believe that you are attentive, and actively listening to the class conversation.

4.) Anticipate when your turn to answer is. Figure out when your turn to answer a question is. The ideal teacher goes around the classroom in an orderly fashion, so you can easily count off the number of people until your go. If you have a teacher that uses “random” choosing of people, just prepare a quick answer before each one, which isn’t a guaranteed way to get out of the dilemma, but can still work effectively for experienced homework forgetters.

5.) Ask questions. When trying to scope out students who didn’t do their homework, teachers look for kids who aren’t participating in the homework conversation, ergo, (therefore), if you are not asking questions or raising your hand, it makes you a perfect target. Ask any question, even if you already know the answer, it will keep the teacher off of your back.

Follow this advice and you could avoid a few points off, or a minute of being chided from your teacher. If you still get caught, just keep practicing, you will get better. Or, you could just do your homework.

I Got an F. (and so can you!)

The Film-Noir-Like and Very-Film-Noir-Like Elements in The Scarlet Letter

In today’s society, film often combines with noir, causing very film-noir-like elements in life such as half in light/half in shadows, cloudy scenes, sunny scenes, and odd angles. In Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter, copious amounts of shadows present themselves at various times, and light, specifically sunlight acts in odd ways, not to mention the ludicrous camera angles Hawthorne uses. In almost every chapter, film-noir-like elements present themselves, and in a few chapters, the film-noir-like elements rises to very-film-noir-like ones.

Being a transcendentalist, Hawthorne often works his film-noir magic on nature, because transcendentalists basically believe that nature is god, and they treat it with great respect. “This rose-bush, by a strange chance, has been kept alive in history; but whether it had merely survived out of the stern old wilderness, so long after the fall of the gigantic pines and oaks that originally overshadowed it, or”(42) THERE! There is a film-noir-like element because the rose bush is in a shadow, overshadowed by a larger pine or oak tree, or both, which suggests that a unique camera angle/vantage point would have to be used to have to paint an accurate picture of the rose-bush. This book is riddled with natural film-noir. “She had wandered, without rule or guidance, in a moral wilderness; as vast, as intricate and shadowy, as an untamed forest. Here, Hester Prynne’s “moral wilderness” or whatever, is being compared to something “intricate and shadowy.” Something “intricate”…, obviously Hawthorne means a diamond, which reflects sunlight in dazzling patterns, which cause very-film-noir-like displays all around. And by saying that Hester’s mental thing is shadowy, he is just trying to convey that half of her is in shadow, and half of her is in light, creating a textbook film-noir-like setting.

Occasionally, Hawthorne presents a different aspect of film-noir, perhaps abstract film-noir, or film-noir-film-noir. This type of film-noir is not very prevalent because it is hard for people to grasp the epic importance of such an intellectual endeavor, ergo (therefore,) writers tend to stay away from this. Hawthorne was not faltered by film-noir-film-noir however, which can be seen in many different examples in The Scarlet Letter. “His fame, though still on its upward slope, already overshadowed the soberer reputations of his fellow clergymen.”(122) Yes, its subtle, and easily overlooked, but if examined carefully, the word “shadow” can be found. Right there. This shadow, however, is not referring to a concrete object, but more of an “abstract” object, which happens to be “his fame” overshadowing “soberer reputations.” Hawthorne’s decision to take advantage of the flexibility of film-noir-film-noir is a decision which indicates that he wants the reader to interpret the message of the writing in his/her own way. This of course is not the only place in the book where A.F.N. is used. “ It was his genuine impulse to adore the truth, and to reckon all things shadow-like…”(124) In this context, the word “shadow” is pretty much a verbal variable, holding the place of “film-noir.” Shadow-like is not really the best analogue for film-noir like though because although shadows play a major role in the film-noir level of a work of art, it is not totally shadows. For example, a picture of two different sized balls placed at different distances from the observer to look as if they were the same size, is film-noir-like, because it uses independent and interesting angles to achieve a film-noir illusion, without the breathtaking use of shadow.

The forest in The Scarlet Letter is film-noir CENTRAL. One chapter that partly happens and talks about the forest is actually named “A Flood of Sunshine.” Nathanial might as well have named it “The Film-Noir Chapter.” Seriously, its blatant film-noir. The word shadow appears 3 times in the chapter, the word sun appears 5 times, including the title, the word dark twice, sky twice. When added together, these equal 12 F.N.U.s. (film-noir-units). This chapter is roughly 5.5 pages long, and if the math is calculated, that is roughly 2.18 F.N.U.s per page. And since one very-film-noir-unit is approximately 1.37 F.N.U.s there were about 1.59 V.F.N.U.s per page, which is unprecedented. “The decision once made, a glow of strange enjoyment threw its flickering brightness over the trouble of his breast.”(177) Glow, strange, flickering, brightness… just crazy stuff. Four film-noir elements stuffed into one heart-stopping POW! of a sentence. This is a perfect example of what a highly trained intellectual and seasoned writer can achieve with a little film and a little noir…like.

All in all, this book was pretty much the most film-noir-like book I have ever read. Nathanial Hawthorne was truly a titan among titans in the writer’s world, and these examples prove Nate’s film-noir virtuoso, if you will. This book was exhilarating read, from beginning to end, because of the edge of the seat scenes like the ones containing sunlight reflecting every which way and dynamic ever moving shadows. The reader is left totally flabbergasted.